To Look, or Not To Look?

One of the most important things we help our clients develop as professional planners is the end-all, be-all wedding day timeline! Guess what? 90% of that timeline boils down to just ONE question… Will the Bride and Groom have a first look before the ceremony, or not? When we refer to “first look”, we simply mean the first moment a Bride and Groom will see each other on their wedding day - typically after all the hair, makeup, and getting ready festivities, but before the ceremony itself.

Why does this matter? Well, most wedding days are pretty much identical up until this point. Brides will get ready with their ladies in a flurry of eyelashes and hairspray and tulle, while the dudes are typically eating food and relaxing until about 10 minutes before they have to actually be ready. Oh, to just be able to throw on an outfit and walk out the door! What a luxury. But then there comes a decision… do the ladies and gentleman remain separate for a few photos in their suites, and meet at the ceremony? Or, do the Bride and Groom create a special first look moment, followed by full bridal party photos before the ceremony begins? This is the ultimate “crossroads” decision of the wedding day timeline.

Is there a right or wrong decision? Of course not! But let’s help you weigh out the pros and cons, and how it will affect the timing of your big day.

Photography by Chelsea Seekell, Kelly Braman, Jonnie & Garrett, and Karyn May.

The number one main reason why couples opt for a first look prior to the ceremony, would be to ease nerves and have that special, intimate moment between just the two of them, rather than the entire guest list being present. This can allow for a more candid, emotional, realistic experience for the two of you - the last precious hours together before you are officially husband and wife.

Many times, the first look plays a major role in timing of the day. If you have a later ceremony, rolling immediately into a cocktail hour and/or reception, the first look earlier in the day allows for much more flexibility for photos with the couple, bridal party, and perhaps even family. Following this route means that after the ceremony concludes, you can join your guests with the rest of the day, or just have a quiet moment together before the rest of the evening too. Regardless of how you spend the extra time, many couples agree that getting the first look nerves “out of the way” before the ceremony, eases anxiety and helps the rest of the day move along smoothly.

A few things to consider when planning a first look… Will you allow anyone to watch from afar? Are you okay if your hair/makeup/attire is not perfectly fresh after the first look and before the ceremony? What lighting will work best for these special shots? Will seeing each other beforehand make us more or less nervous and jittery? What scenario will give us the most authentic and genuine reactions?

Photography by Kelly Braman, Nathan English, and Kate Touzel.

So, why would a couple opt out of a first look before their ceremony? There are a variety of valid and totally understandable reasons! Some couples have a more traditional ceremony, for instance a Catholic mass, where it is not advisable for the couple to see one another beforehand. Tradition holds that the Groom will see his Bride the second she walks down the aisle, and not a minute sooner.

Furthermore, some couples simply dream of that one special moment when the Bride and Groom lock eyes at either end of the aisle for the very first time. Sometimes this prompts a more natural and visible reaction that your guests may otherwise not get to witness. You’ve seen the photos and videos when a Groom is so overcome with joy that tears stream down his grin-stretched face, while the Bride leans into her beloved Father for support... The stuff fairytales are made out of!

Sometimes, people are already planning on an earlier ceremony time, which wouldn’t allow for an easy first look due to timing for hair, makeup, getting dressed, transportation, etc. For instance, if you are planning on a 1:00pm ceremony, doing a first look a few hours ahead of time would likely not give you enough time for getting ready with your respective bridal parties… unless you like putting makeup on before you’re even fully awake in the morning. But for most people, no thanks!

If you are thinking of skipping the first look, we simply would recommend making your ceremony time a bit earlier in the afternoon to allot at least 2-3 hours minimum for newlywed, bridal party, and family portraits between the ceremony and reception. If you are having a late fall or winter wedding, you may have to consider doing your ceremony even earlier than this, as you now not only have to fit in all your photos after the ceremony, but you have a ticking clock for how much daylight you have left. Oftentimes in Michigan, the sun will be set by 5:00pm later in the year!

Photography by Ashley Slater, Jen Kroll, Jillian Bouwes, and Kylee Paige.

Our dear friends and videographers over at Coastline Studios perfectly captured one of our beloved Bride and Groom’s first looks a couple of years ago (it happened to go viral on Facebook too!), which fully demonstrated their emotional and joyful experience. For Brittany and Riley, a first look before the ceremony was a no-brainer, and they couldn’t contain their excitement to see one another any longer. But for others, maybe this reaction is one you want to display for your guests to see, and make your ceremony that much more memorable!

When all is said and done, the first time a Bride and Groom see each other on their wedding day is a deeply, emotionally personal choice. Don’t let anyone pressure you into a decision you are not comfortable with making, and know that your vendors, friends, and family, want you to have everything you want too. Everyone will work around timelines and logistics to make it the wedding of your dreams. That’s our job! Ask your vendors for advice, and trust in your professionals, but know that ultimately, YOU are the ones that get the final say in how your monumental day will unfurl.

Dreaming of warm days full of hugs, and all you beautiful Brides! Stay healthy and safe friends.

Warmly,

Jenn and Team Modern Day